My Facebook Prison

What started it... I was tired of feeling left out! My sister and my niece are always putting new cute pictures and videos up of their babies and I was missing it all. I started a Facebook account to keep better "connected" with my family. I had my FB for a month and it got to where I was on it too much... everyday at least once, for about an hour and some days much longer! I started to notice my thoughts throughout my day were about what was happening on FB rather than being on my children and my own life all around me. I felt like I was being more and more disconnected with my own reality at home to feel more connected online to my extended family and friends. Its great to get updates from your loved ones, but there is SO SO much negativity on FB. The old fashioned way of occasional phone calls and hearing updates from my parents about how the extended family is doing is just more comfortable to me. I feel more grounded that way. Being on FB, I felt like my mind was caught up in this cyber world and there was a fog between me and my kids and my husband who were right in front of me! It wasn't there before Facebook! Brandon hates Facebook and has never been into networking of any kind. He said my decision to be on Facebook was just that, my decision. I love love love that he is old fashioned and stays away... even if everyone else is doing it. I admire him for not getting caught up in today's world and way of life. Some people can be on FB and not get caught up in it and not have it be an everyday thing... but I'm not that disciplined... for me, it is a huge distraction I can't afford to have while trying to raise a family. I'm not dissing everyone else for being on FB. My whole family is on FB and I love all of them so much! Personally, I can see it was a bad decision for me. I have the utmost respect for my family and friends who are on FB... to each his own.
I've had my blog for over 2 years now. I wholeheartedly agree that blogging is a wonderful journal to record our family life and if something happened to me, my kids and husband would cherish all the thoughts and feelings I've blogged about them. It's my way to record our history and savor our family moments and photos. It doesn't have the overflow of constant information about what everyone else is doing for every second of the day like Facebook. Its just me, in my own little world, where all my thoughts are focused on what my kids are doing and what we've been up to as a family. I feel good about that. :)
I deactivate my Facebook account today to be done with it!!! I wanted to clear the fog and feel the freedom I used to have to just live my life in the moment, and not be consumed with what my next post on FB will be. LOL. Seriously? Why did I do that to myself!? As soon I deactivated it, I felt the little dark cloud that's been hanging over me leave... and I knew it was the right choice for ME. It was invigorating to take back the control over something that imprisoned me. I feel SO much better! Its a choice I'll never regret. I can stare into the sweet little faces of my children, and know that they are getting 100% of their mother... all my attention, all my love, all my thoughts and concerns are all for them and my husband... and our happiness.

Oct 5, 2012