Brandon and Jennifer: In Hospital, Day 2

As an extra precaution with twins, the hospital wants us to stay the full 48 hours after birth. When William was born I went home after 24 hours, but I thought it was better to stay this time and be on the safe side. My nurse brought in the twins every 3 hours to eat, so today my eyes were burning tired. I got in the shower this morning and feel as refreshed as I can after having TWO babies.

Mythanne and Shannon came by around noon, and brought us candy to snack on.

Story:

Later on, Brandon left to run a few errands and to pick up the kids after school to bring them back to the hospital to see the twins. I was left alone for the first time. The twins were sleeping in their separate little push beds. I was in the bathroom and heard one of the babies let out a little scream... then silence. I figured she was starting to wake up and just in the restless in-and-out of sleep stage, and that I had a few more minutes before a full blown cry would start. About 30 seconds later, I heard another screech noise from her... this time I went out to check on her... In complete HORROR, I saw that Paisley was choking! She was lying on her back with a puddle of vomit bubbling in her mouth and out her nose. I immediately ran over, scooped her upright in my arms, patting her hard on the back in a panic... OMGosh! It wasn't helping!!! I was yelling in my mind over and over... NO! NO! BREATHE! BREATHE! I couldn't believe this was happening! I grabbed the blue suction bulb from her bed and tried sucking out the fluid from the back of her throat. It seemed to make her choke worse! By this time I noticed her whole body was blue and that she still hadn't taken a breath. Tears were flowing down my face and that terrible feeling of panic turned to desperation and it filled my body from head to toe.

Not one breath in probably 2 minutes or longer! I don't know how long she was chocking before I saw her. Now totally desperate, I ran to my bed and pushed the nurse call button. A nurse answered through the speaker, "Can I help you?" I yelled back at her, " I need help! My baby isn't breathing!" She ran in the room a few seconds later. When she saw Paisley, she panicked too and said, "Oh my gosh! I have to take her!" She grabbed her from me, put Paisley in her push bed and ran her down the hall.

I stayed in my room with Emmy. I couldn't hold back the tears, and I noticed my body was trembling while I paced around the room. My mind was racing with questions of wondering how Paisley was doing and what they were doing to help her. I needed comfort. I needed Brandon here with me. I tried to dry my cheeks with tissue. I picked up Emmy and squeezed her close, kissing her head and wishing Paisley was sleeping peacefully in my arms too. This had to be a dream.

Five minutes later, the same nurse came in and I was still sobbing. She had a relieved look on her face, and said, "She's okay. As soon as I got her to the nursery, her color was back to normal. But we're going to keep her in the nursery for awhile longer to monitor her and keep her on oxygen." I was trying to hold back the tears (without success) as I listened, but I was still in shock and trembling. The nurse continued, " I'm sorry to scare you, but when I saw that her lips were blue, I had to take her to the nursery right away." I was just nodding through my tears, and trying to wipe my face with the back of my hands. She reassured me again that Paisley was fine now and that everything was okay. I got out the words, "Okay, Thank You" before she left again.

I called Brandon to calm my nerves. I said Hi and he could tell I was upset. He said,"What's wrong?" I told him everything that happened with my chin quivering as I talked. I was so relieved, but it was going to take awhile for my nerves and body to relax and return back to normal. Brandon said calmly, "Holy Sh**"... while shaking his head I'm sure. He being relieved as well and understanding how bad things could have turned out. "Alright, I'm on my way to pick up the kids now... I'll be there shortly", he said, "Love you..."

When they brought Paisley back to me. I couldn't wait to see her... and hold her. I wanted to see that her skin was normal again, and to watch her breathe for myself. I'm not one of those Mothers that has an instantaneous, consuming love right from birth. I feel more like we're strangers, and it takes me several weeks to feel a bonding connection with my baby. I've never admitted that to anyone, cause I feel guilty, but this experience brought my love for the twins to the surface in seconds. Already, I can't imagine life without either one of them.

Probably 30 minutes after it all, Katie came to visit when she got off work. I had calmed down by then and it was so nice to have a friend there to talk to.

Soon after... Samantha and Tony showed up. Then Brandon with our 4 kids... they were all excited to see their new sisters again and pass them around. :)